For my Theory and Practice of Creative Writing, I had to read Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird. Lamott is bad ass and witty as anything – her best advice for writing about men you’ve lived with was to write about how they had a small penis. That way, they’d be too ashamed to sue you. She had a really powerful part about a friend of hers who was causing her grief. After months and months of stress wearing on her from their friendship, she told her friend she needed to take a sabbatical from their friendship.

sabbatical (n): a break or change from a normal routine
That’s a hard thing to do! Nobody wants to sit down someone they care about and tell them they need to take a break from them; but sometimes you really do need to separate yourself from people and situations in your life. It can be hard to distinguish when/who you need space from, but sometimes you need time to yourself to grow. More commonly, I think we all take breaks by not answering texts, phone calls, and invitations. It’s less confrontational, but there’s something to be said for being that upfront.

This is a post I’ve typed, backspaced, saved for later, and finally come back to. Mainly because it touches on feelings that’re still kinda fresh and raw, and it’s difficult to look at something objectively when you’re emotionally involved. So why blog about it at all? Because it’s something that’s important to me; something I wanted to write about.

If I’ve learned anything in this past year, it’s the weight that my actions have on others and vice versa. Personally, being vulnerable is something that doesn’t come naturally; so when I am open and bare with someone, it hurts a little extra when they turn your back on you. I think back on a roommate from last year, a girl I was (way) less than nice to. I gained absolutely nothing from being snarky with her, and I’ll bet anything I made her life a little harder than it had to be. In reality, there’s a lot more people besides her who I owe an apology to. People who I was nasty to for no reason, people I took my bad days out on, and good friends I didn’t value. But, the karmic wheel has it’s way of coming full circle. Some of us learn our lessons a little later than others.

Being broken down by someone close to you brings you new perspective, you learn to be softer. More compassionate. I read this the other day, and it rang true to everything I’m going through these last few weeks.

I’m finally strong enough to pull the weeds, move on from friendships that only bring me down and from people who only bring negative vibes to the table. It doesn’t make you a bitch, it doesn’t make you a snob. You’re the only one responsible for your happiness and sometimes you gotta restock the shelves to get there.

Finally, a song I’m reaaally liking this week.